Today is the Ides of January...otherwise known as the 15th of the month, for those of you who aren’t up on your Roman calendar references (have you hugged an English and Classics major today? I’m available!)
I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is quite possibly the worst time of the year. It feels to me like everything from the weather (hello, Polar Vortex) to the millions of vicious viruses circulating freely (hello, stomach flu) are conspiring to make us collectively miserable.
To top it off, most of us have already fallen off the wagon of whatever New Year’s Resolutions we passionately committed to on January 1st, when the world lay before us like a blanket of fresh, not-at-all-vortex-like snow. Diet plan? Derailed. Exercise daily? But it’s sooooo coooold, and my bed is soooo warm! Give thanks in all circumstances? That one was mine, and I was not so much finding my attitude of gratitude a few days ago during my second round of stomach flu in two months.
Most of all, I dread the Ides of January because I always feel like a failure this time of year. As a card-carrying member of the Overachievers Club, I reeeeeeally hate to fail. I suck at sucking at stuff. So much that I would rather not even try something than risk looking bad at it. One possible exception is dancing in front of my children in order to make them stop crying...just ask the Fed Ex man who saw me breaking it down to Justin Beiber’s “Baby” to make Noah laugh a few years ago. This is why we can’t have neighbors. Anyway, I digress.
My solace in the midst of this miserable month has been listening to Brene Brown’s talks from The Power of Vulnerability. I’m forever indebted to Keri Brugger and my fabulous Bible study girls for introducing me to Brene. If you’ve never heard of her, try her Ted Talk or read Daring Greatly...she has so much to say that is so wonderful, but the part that I’m holding onto right now is this: when you’re in the midst of shame (feeling like you are not good enough, unworthy, a failure, etc), the first step to getting out of that hole is to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone else.
Many of us are kind people...to everyone except ourselves. How often do we look in the mirror and say, “Holy SMOKES you are a DISASTER!! What is that THING on your cheek??? And how long has it been since you flossed? I think there are small colonies of extraterrestrials living on your tongue. The hair...don’t get me started on THAT mess. How can you possibly go out in public today?” Yet we wouldn’t dream of talking to someone else in that way.
Usually when we talk about how Jesus calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves, we focus on the neighbor part--and rightly so. But friends, in this cold and cruel month, let us not forget to be kind to ourselves too. As my dear friend Jenni recently posted much more eloquently, God don’t make junk, and if he finds you beautiful, so can you!
Peace,
Alison
